Shameless by Kelly Fox

Author:Kelly Fox [Fox, Kelly]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-05-25T16:00:00+00:00

Roly

I wipe my eyes and drive the short distance back to my house, mortified that Heath had seen me cry.

This is why we have rules, asshole.

As soon as I open the door, Audrey is there to greet me. I look around, and there isn’t a speck of fluff, a pool of pee, or a pile of poop anywhere.

“Good job, baby girl.”

I let her out and make a vodka tonic that is pretty much just straight vodka in a cut-crystal tumbler because if I’m going to be morose, I’m going to be classy about it. By the time I let her back in, it’s halfway gone and I’m teary-eyed again. I mean, he practically shoved me away, like he couldn’t stand any part of me touching any part of him for a second longer.

Not gonna lie. That hurt.

I pick up my baby girl and pop her on my shoulder, and she nuzzles her tiny, furry face into mine.

“Oh, sweet Audrey. Your daddy really fucked up tonight,” I say, downing the rest of the glass. The ice hadn’t even had a chance to melt, so I pour another one.

I have rules, dammit.

Rules that allow for maximum fun and minimal complications. Rules that I set aside because I couldn’t stand the fact that Heath didn’t like me.

I berate myself because I know more than anyone that the rules aren’t just to prevent someone else catching feelings. The truly dangerous thing is me catching feelings, because a feeling is a shiv, honed to sharp point, able to pry into the hermetically sealed lid that keeps all of my shit in. If I allow one of these pointed feelings to pry up a corner, it’s anyone’s guess what might come flying out.

Maybe, if I’m lucky, it’s just the ache I feel when I think about my mom and dad’s storybook relationship.

Or the fact that having a person to come home to, to hold, to make happy… sounds like a heaven I don’t deserve.

But if I’m really unlucky, if it really just isn’t my day, then it’s the desire hidden so carefully under layers of bullshit and personality that I can barely think it, let alone speak it. The one that includes first days of school and proud graduation moments and walks down the aisle.

That one sits like an unexploded bomb in my chest.

I let out a soft laugh as I tilt back the last of the drink, the ice still unmelted. I mean, can you imagine it? Me doing anything serious?

Sleeping with—ah, who are we kidding, fucking—a gorgeous man with children? On multiple occasions? What the fuck was I thinking?

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